A Successful Marriage (Song of Songs 3:6-11) Part 1

The following is a sermon manuscript which I had to turn in for my Biblical Preaching class taught by Dr. Danny Akin (our president). He's somewhat of an expert on Song of Songs so he thought it would be fun to make us struggle with this book. No one has that much time to read the whole sermon in one sitting, so today I've just posted my first point. Hope you enjoy.

Introduction


Turn in your Bibles to the Song of Songs 3:6-11. While you’re turning there I’d like for you to close your eyes and think back to your wedding day. If you’ve never experienced marriage, try to imagine what your wedding day will be like. Think about that morning when you woke up. Think about the moments leading to the ceremony. Think of all your family and friends who came from miles away to be there. Think of what it was like walking down the aisle or waiting on your bride as you watched her walk down the aisle holding the arm of the man who was going to give her away. Wasn’t that a special time? Wasn’t that a tremendously personal time? Finally, wasn’t that a time where everyone who was there approved of your future union with this person? Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe there were some underlying situations that made it unfortunate. Maybe the wedding preceded a not-so-good marriage and it remains a sad chapter in your life. Sadly enough, many weddings and marriages do not go as dreamed of or planned. The fairytale wedding sometimes ends up with a “not-so-happily-ever-after” ending. But, it doesn’t have to be this way.

There is a book of the Bible that talks about marriage and how it should be. It is a book that talks about how to extol sexual love the right way between a man and a woman in a day where sexuality has become idolatrous.[1] There is a passage in that book that talks about the wedding day. It outlines for us the best way to have a wonderful, memorable, and exciting wedding and it shows us that we should have God at the center of all that we do as we live life and more specifically, plan our weddings. This book is called the Song of Solomon but is also known as the Song of Songs because it is considered the most marvelous of the 1,005 songs that King Solomon wrote.[2] Ironically, the book has been doubted as to its inclusion into the canon of scripture. The main reason of its doubt was that it seemed “sensual” to some.[3] The pundits are right. This is a sensual book. In fact, respondents to this claim have said that because it is sensual God has placed this book in Scripture to showcase the purity and sanctity of the institute of marriage which He created.[4]
There have also been disagreements as to whether this book is simply an erotic love tale or something purely metaphorical. I would say it is a combination of both.[5] It is a love song describing two lovers, but it also contains a wonderful parallel that shows that marriage between a husband and a wife is a foretaste of the relationship between Christ and His church.[6] In this passage of scripture, a beautiful picture of the wedding ceremony is portrayed. Your wedding, or your children’s wedding can also be this beautiful and your marriage can also be this extravagant, especially with God at the center. Allow me to show you three ingredients for a successful wedding.

Read Text

Pray


A Wedding Should be Special (v.6-8)


The first element that a wedding should have is that it should be special. Of all the events in the world that we plan, our wedding should most definitely be special. Most little girls grow up dreaming of their wedding day and imagine what it will be like as well they should. Everyone’s wedding day should be special. It is estimated that 2.3 million couples wed every year in the United States. That means that there are 6,200 weddings a day.[7] Of those weddings, how many are special? How many glorify God? God has designed marriage between a man and a woman to be a very special relationship and likewise the wedding ceremony itself should be as special as the couple can make it. Not only should a wedding be special, but while it is special it should be exciting. Let’s look at verse six.

a. The Ceremony Should be Exciting (v.6)

This section of the Song opens with a sense of mystery and intrigue: “Who is this coming out of the wilderness?” it asks. Who is it? Why are they coming from the wilderness? The reason is not exactly known.[8] This is probably the beginning of a wedding procession.[9] Whoever is coming is surrounded by what looks like “pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all the merchant’s fragrant powders.” This question is asked in a way that will draw the audience’s attention to what is being described.[10] Also, this expression uses a feminine form of the Hebrew phrase which usually refers to a woman.[11] However, the word can sometimes be in the neuter so there is a great deal of disagreement as to who exactly is coming.[12] But we will see that the identity of the person who is coming up from the wilderness makes a big difference. Whoever is coming must be important. We know right away that whoever is coming out of the wilderness is coming in grand fashion. The person’s approach heightens the drama as does the phrase “like a column of smoke.”[13]

Myrrh and frankincense flank the entourage. Myrrh and frankincense are resins that are produced by trees that grow in dry lands.[14] Frankincense was prescribed for a holy incense mixture and myrrh was similar but was used as medicine or cosmetic use.[15] In this case these mixtures were used for cosmetic use. The person coming out of the wilderness wanted to make sure he or she smelled good and that the people watching would know that they were on their way.
So who is coming from the wilderness? History tells us that “a central aspect of the wedding ceremony was a procession to the bride’s home led by the groom.”[16] The groom would come in his splendor and then collect his bride and escort her to their new home where the wedding ceremony would commence.[17] Obviously, this is not exactly how wedding ceremonies are done now, but nevertheless is a romantic way of courtship. No doubt this part of the wedding ceremony was dreamt of over and over again by most young girls.

Imagine that you are the young girl and you see King Solomon in his royal splendor emerging from across the horizon, getting ready to take you back to his house for the wedding ceremony. What an exciting event! Indeed, their wedding was not only special it was also exciting.

b. The Marriage Should be Secure (v.7-8)

The other special part of a wedding is that the groom should allow the bride to trust him that their marriage will be one that will be wrapped in safety and security. A bride should be able to feel secure in the arms that will hold her for the rest of her life. Look at verses seven and eight. Verse seven tells us that Solomon was coming, most likely seated in his couch, which could be a bed[18] or a carriage[19] type transport, surrounded by sixty “valiant” men who are all holding swords and are skilled in combat.

Solomon is showing his bride-to-be that he will not only protect her while they transport her back to their house (it was well known that armed bandits could crash such an elaborate and expensive production[20]), but that he will protect her throughout the entirety of their marriage and that their marriage will be a secure one. All women want security which is one reason why they can be attracted to men with money. But Solomon offers much more than money, he offers real security! He wants his bride to know that she will never ever have to worry about her safety ever again. Indeed, he had already made her feel secure as she would think of him while she slept.[21] Many think that she was just a country girl who had been out in the sun too long.[22] However, interestingly enough many also think that his wife was Abishag of Shunem, the most beautiful woman in all the land.[23] Whatever the case, Solomon was deeply in love with his wife and wanted her to feel secure.

The text tells us that these men all held swords and were “expert in war” and that every man’s sword was on his thigh, which is a place where he can easily get to it. The end of the verse then relays an interesting detail. These warriors were with Solomon because of “fear in the night.” What is there to fear in the night? Armed bandits? Yes. But it is also believed that this bed that Solomon and his bride will both be traveling in is the same bed where they will consummate their wedding night. Therefore, the warriors are there to “protect the woman in the vulnerability of her night of love” with Solomon.[24] Solomon does not want anyone or anything upsetting or alarming his wife on their first night. Solomon’s marriage was going to be secure no matter what. The wedding should be special with the ceremony being exciting and the marriage being secure. And we can see very clearly that Solomon has planned a special wedding, as well as marriage, for his bride.
I can empathize with Solomon. On my wedding night, I was worried to death that my wife Emily’s cousins and aunts and uncles were going to follow us down the interstate as we made our way to the hotel where we were going to spend our first night. I had heard horror stories all week about how they followed different people in the family for hours and hours until they found out where they were going to stay. Then when they came to the place they would bang on the door and disrupt the first night of the unlucky couple. I did not know much about my wedding day (my lovely wife planned most of it) but I knew one thing: no one was going to follow me and disrupt my wedding night. I designed an elaborate plan to where I had my car hidden in some random part of Spartanburg, SC, where no one would be able to find it. After the reception, our getaway car rushed us to my secret spot and we were off to our selected location. I wanted to make sure that my wife would feel safe and secure on the first night of our wedding. I haven’t done a lot of things right in our marriage, but that is one situation where I succeeded.

Solomon succeeded in planning out that his wedding night was going to special, exciting and secure. Your wedding should also be special. It should be an exhilarating ride you will never forget and it should include a promise of safety from the groom to the bride. Solomon was no pansy, 21st century “metro-sexual” man who was in touch with his “feminine side.” Solomon was a real man who wanted to protect his bride and make sure she felt safe in his arms.
[1] Raymond B. Dillard and Tremper Longman III, An Introduction to the Old Testament, (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1994), 264.
[2] M. van der Maas, ed., Halley’s Bible Handbook (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2000), 358.

[3] Norman L. Geisler and William E. Nix, A General Introduction to the Bible (Chicago: Moody, 1986), 258.

[4] Ibid., 259.

[5] Gleason L. Archer, A Survey of Old Testament Introduction (Chicago: Moody, 1994), 542-543.

[6] van de Mass, Halley’s Bible Handbook, 359.
[7] “Statistics on Weddings in the United States,” accessed at http://www.soundvision.com/info/weddings/statistics.asp

[8] Renita J. Weems, The New Interpreter’s Bible vol. 5 (Nashville: Abingdon, 1997), 400.

[9] Frank E. Gaebelein, The Expositors Bible Commentary, vol. 5 (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1991), 1226.

[10] John G. Snaith, The New Century Bible Commentary (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1993), 51.

[11] Robert W. Jenson, Interpretation (Louisville: John Knox, 2005), 40.

[12] Snaith, New Century Bible Commentary, 51.

[13] Duane A. Garrett, The New American Commentary vol. 14 (Nashville: Broadman, 1993), 400.

[14]Trent C. Butler, ed., Holman Concise Bible Dictionary (Nashville: Broadman and Holman, 2001), 494.

[15] Ibid.

[16] Daniel Akin, God on Sex (Nashville: Broadman and Holman, 2003), 123.

[17] Ibid.

[18] Garrett, The New American Commentary, 401.

[19] Akin, God on Sex, 125.

[20] Snaith, The New Century Bible Commentary, 53.

[21] S. Craig Glickman, A Song for Lovers (Downer’s Grove: IVP, 1976), 37.

[22] Tom Gedhill, The Message of the Song of Songs (Downer’s Grove: IVP, 1984), 78.

[23] van der Mass, Halley’s Bible Handbook, 359.

[24] Garrett, The New American Commentary, 402.