What is the central focus of child-rearing?
In the book, Shepherding a Child's Heart, author Tedd Tripp states, "The central focus of child-rearing is to bring children to a sober assessment of themselves as sinners."
There's a statement that you don't hear everyday. Children are sinners. Anyone who has ever raised children (not me, yet) or has worked with children (that's me) can understand the truth behind Tripp's statement. He continues:
"They must understand the mercy of God, who offered Christ as a sacrifice of sinners. How is that accomplished? You must address the heart as the fountain of behavior, and the conscience as the God-given judge of right and wrong. The cross of Christ must be the central focus of your child-rearing." (p.120)
This quotation brings to bear the central issue I believe of why people accept or reject Christ. People accept Christ because they realize that they are sinners, not 'good people' who are in need of a savior to rescue them from this lifestyle.
People reject Christ because...they either a) don't think they are sinners, b) don't think they need a Savior, or c) don't want a Savior.
Either way it is enlightening to read a 'how-to' on child-rearing with the Cross of Christ as the center of parenting.
posted by Charlie Wallace at
4:48 PM
7 Comments:
Good thoughts.
Wow, that kid in the picture looks like Voldemort in the latest Harry Pottery movie.
TulipGirl,
Welcome to the site. What cultual patterns of punishing behavior are you referring to?
TulipGirl
I agree with much of what you have stated. However, I also disagree with a few points. Also, I don't agree with everything that Tripp states in his book (I hardly ever agree with EVERYTHING anyone says).
When Tripp states that an 8-month old is sinning when 'wiggling' around by not getting his diaper changed...I agree with him. I have a 4-week old. He hates to get his diaper changed, even though it is what he needs. Now, I don't spank him because I don't think his brain has developed enough to where he KNOWS he is being sinful. How is he being sinful? Well, why do babies cry? Babies cry because they want something. That is selfish in nature. God has given him me and my wife to take care of him. I know he can't help but be selfish because he was born without a chance - he was born a sinner. It's my job to give him what he wants when he cries because of the love I have for him. When he cries to be held, I hold him, etc.
Also, your point about the rod. I think that Tripp is merely being biblical with his advocacy of the rod...not cultural. Additionally, I did not feel that Tripp was giving in to the idea that we should be raising little Christian soldiers. I got the feeling he knows that kids will be kids.
Where I disagree with him is when he says something to the tune of a kid should be spanked for not cleaning his room. If you spank a child for not doing everything right all the time you'll be doing a lot of spanking. I think spanking needs to come when 1) the child knows that his future action will result in a spanking and 2) when he is being openly defiant. A child should never tell his parent, "no" to a command.
A child should be told, "if you do this, you will be spanked." Then when the child crosses the line, he knows the consequence.
I think we agree on pretty much everything except the issue of when a child sins. I'm not sure that we know for sure what child is feeling (especially a newborn) when he cries. Yes, crying is one of, if not the only, line of communication that a baby has with his parents. With your definition of sin, which I agree with:
"Sin is any want of conformity unto, or transgression of the law of God."
Not obeying one's parents is sin. So is placing one's own desires over God sin. I think that newborns (as well as older babies, children, etc.) do both of these. The problem is - they don't know it. They are indeed helpless and in need of a Savior. I think we will never know the full gravity of our sin. It goes deeper then we'll ever ever understand.
As far as the Christ child not crying? I have no idea. Based on my definition of a child crying = sin, I would have to say he didn't cry. But if he did, then I'm wrong! ;-)
By the way, checked out your webpage. What a blessing it would be to have four boys! (Although I'd take girls anyday.) You have much more parenting experience then I do (obviously). I'll be looking for advice on your blog.
I've enjoyed it too. I've discovered, and I realize this is a gross generalization, men tend to be more 'too the point,' 'bottom-line' centered.
Women, on the other hand, in my experience, tend to talk a little more...well, less to-the-point.
Neither is right or wrong...just a difference in communicatinng. Ok, throw stones.
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