Why do Non-Christians Marry?
The Washington Times reports that Hillary and Julie Goodridge, the namesake couple in the landmark lawsuit that introduced same-sex "marriage" in Massachusetts two years ago, have separated.
The dissolution of this particular couple's relationship is particulary surprising to me because the article also reports that the couple had been together for 17 years prior to tying the knot. Then they got married and two years later, the marriage is over. It is beyond the scope of this post to postulate about the legality and morality of same-sex unions. I'd like to turn my attention, instead, to the issue of seperation and divorce. At the end of the article, the author reports that only 45 of the over 7,300 homosexual marriages have ended. That's about a 0.6% breakup rate. However, it's only been about 2 years. It remains to be seen if the homosexual divorce/seperation rate will become equal to the heterosexual one over an extended period of time, say 30 years.
This leads me to my question: It seems that in the secular world, as well as the world of some professing Christians, marriage seems to doom couples' relationships - especially those who have lived together beforehand according to various research. With that said, why would anyone in their right mind want to get married? Why not just live together? What are the beneifts of marriage (besides lower taxes)?
Now, before you think I've lost my marbles (which I have by the way) I believe that Christian people should marry because it is certainly God's intention and God's plan. But, for someone who does not believe in the fact that the Bible is God's Word (and I'm taking a leap here that those homosexuals who marry do not hold the Bible in as high esteem as I do based on their actions), why marry?
If I was not a Christ-follower, I certainly would not be married at age 27. I would be living the life of a Sex and the City episode and date around, because, hey - you only live once. However, I do believe in God and that Christ came to seek and save what was lost and that he was crucified, buried, and rose again according to the Scriptures, and what the Bible postulates and decrees. Therefore I know that a marital and monogamous relationship with one woman is the ideal relationship on earth because it 1) reflects Christ's relationship with His church, 2) provides a safe, structured enviornment for raising children (another command of God), 3) ensures no STD's, and the psychological issues that go with having multiple sex partners, and 4) it sanctifies the couple.
And upon experiencing marriage for over 2.5 years, I know how wonderful it can be if it is centered around Christ. Any other marriage where Christ is not the center should be doomed to failure because of our selfishness and sinfulness. And Christian-based marriages do have problems and some end in divorce. (Although, I still firmly believe that divorce can be dodged 100% of the time if both people are willing to change themselves). Maybe I'm wrong here and I'm just more selfish then other people.
With that said, why do you think non-Christians marry?
posted by Charlie Wallace at
11:46 AM
4 Comments:
Non-Christians marry because marriage is good and they know it.
I think God gives all of us, even those who do not accept Him, some idea of right and wrong, and there is a part in most people that know that marriage is right. Especially for those who've slept around and hopped from relationship to relationship, they want some way of setting it apart when they find the right person. We know that marriage does this as part of God's plan, but even nonbelievers sense there's a difference between marriage and living together forever/long term, whther it's the sense of legal obligation or the fact that it's still supposed to be a lifelong commitment.
I wasn't a Christian when I got married, and I married pretty young for these days [I was 19, he was 29]. We did it because we knew we wanted to be together forever. Both of us understood that we were only going to have one marriage in our lives, and that divorce was not an option. Too many people, even many Christians, don't take that attitude anymore, and that's one of the thingsd that's destroying marriage as an institution. Even without understanding the Biblical meaning of marriage, there's still a sense that it's something bigger than just the two of you, or a more permanent form of shacking up.
I think non Christians marry for the same reasons as Christians, even though they don't see tha big picture at the time. Without realizing it's a part of God's plan for the family and for sanctifying their union, they still know that it does join them on a deeper level than just living together, and that it is a better environment for raising children, and a better and more permanent commitment to eachother as a couple.
Matthew,
I can see your point.
Raine,
Welcome to the site and thanks for your comments. It's always good to get the female perspective on issues. I feel you are correct when you talk about the 'attitude' of marriage. It is far more then just a legal contract, it is a covenant between man/woman/and God that God has instituted.
Divorce is not an option with my wife and I either. That has been our understanding since our wedding day. Churches and pastors should definitely educate their people more about what marriage is.
As far as people sensing that marriage is good, especially monogamy, that is a possibility since woman was made for man who was made for the glory of God.
Social convention mixed with a driving sense of romanticism (given by God through common grace, of course) is my two-cents worth.
I've got an issue that you & your lovely bride may want to weigh in on concerning male/female roles. See my most recent post.
I hope all is going well in Sumter. Give baby Jack[son] a high-five for me when he arrives.
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